I'm getting featured on In the Trenches with Tom Morkes!

I'm so excited to announce that I've been interviewed for Tom's podcast called In the Trenches. 

In The Trenches is an almost weekly podcast where I interview entrepreneurs, artists, writers, inventors, warriors and leaders about doing the hard, creative work, day in and day out.
These are people who are actually in the trenches, and our world is better for their work.

It was great talking with Tom about the work Ilysa and I did to bring Polymer Clay Adventure to life. I'm so excited about that project. Let me tell you, it was the culmination of almost 8 years of our collaboration. We were tired of constantly "marketing" to a group of people who were really not buyers, they just enjoy the free tutorials we make on a weekly basis. And that's so cool- we are doing the tutorials because we love polymer clay. But it would really be awesome if we could also make some money. After all, I've always had a day job and I am DYING to get rid of it and work for myself! So marketing to non-buyers was no longer a viable idea.

Where to find buyers? Well we started doing some covert market research, which involved reaching out to our current network to ask them what they really need help with. We also did some brainstorming - what was our current network and reach comprised of? How were were talking to them about buying? What were we actually providing to them to buy, and could we do a better job?

We slowly answered those questions and then came up with our big idea- create an online event to bring together a large group of guest teachers, with great classes and lots of community interaction. That's how PolymerClayAdventure.com was born, and it's been a great success.

If you want to make money online, remember that you may need to research, do some learning (we read some books and discussed how to implement ideas from our mentors) and really ask your customers what they want, so you can give it to them. We found that when we asked our customers to "Do us a Favor" by answering a couple of survey questions, we got a lot of responses! They knew they could help us by answering, rather than us just saying here's a survey. Words that you use have so much to do with marketing!

I will post a link when Tom gets the podcast interview posted!

On the web, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

I enjoy craigslist, I’ve gotten some great deals there. Recently I was looking to pick up some work, and I responded to a job posting for an accounts payable position. This guy answered me back, and I’m really just posting this so maybe someone googling Craigslist Scams can find it and beware.

Dan McCain realdan00@gmail.com

He sent me an offer, and when I looked around I found a very similar scam and the info was posted here: https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120517154226AAxgRAA

He told me I would have to buy check printing software, print and mail his checks, and get paid by money order every two weeks. I figure I better not print his fraudulent checks and mail them, thereby making me responsible for committing fraud, and then wait for his bogus money order that he printed at home on HIS printer and sent to me. Please don’t fall for it.

BTW, I sent him that link when I told him no.

What is SEO?

In this day and age, I sometimes can’t believe that people ask that question. But so many businesses don’t have the time to dedicate to internet research, so some of the information does fall through the cracks.

SEO is simple and at the same time, incredibly complex. It stands for “search engine optimization.” But what does THAT mean?

There are three major search engines, Google, Yahoo, and Bing. There are others that have been around for a while but haven’t caught on, or that try to pop up and don’t gain ground. Google is the most popular, to the point where we sometimes hear “google” being used as a verb- I’m going to google it, for instance.

The people behind the search engines are pretty smart and they know that everyone wants to be on the first page of google or yahoo or bing. They also know that businesses are willing to do unethical things to gain that page ranking. So they are CONSTANTLY changing the methods for deciding whether a site is relevant or not, and they basically use a mathematical equation called an algorithm to figure it all out. The trouble is, they don’t tell anyone what it is! So when you are optimizing your site, you are trying to figure it out… it can be like shooting in the dark.

The best way to optimize your site for the search engines is to be thorough and honest. Write and post about your niche or product, be honest about it. Make sure you use the words that people in your field or shopping for your product or service would use. Then you have to be sure that you are relevant. Google does not like websites that haven’t updated in a year, they feel that the site is dead an no longer relevant, so your page ranking will drop as new more updated sites take over.

Maintaining your websites SEO is an ongoing and constant job. If you can’t hire a marketing person to do this for you, your internet presence will suffer. Hint- you can hire me 

About Internet Relations... or, remember, that's a person you're typing to!

The internet, Skype, texting... there are so many ways to connect with people these days. For those of us over 20, there were "the old days," when you talked on the phone, went over to their house, and wrote letters, and then there was technology, starting with email and landing us where we are today.

For the under-20 set, they have NEVER known life without cellphones!!!! I remember, my first cellphone was a brick I got in 1995 when I graduated from college and was living in someone's spare room. I was a substitute teacher and needed a way for people to contact me at 5 am. But I digress...

I urge you to keep two things in mind.

#1: There is a person, with thoughts and feelings, on the other end of whatever you are about to type.

#2: If what you are about to type would be better said in person, with facial expressions and tone of voice, find a way to "be with" the person rather than writing it. Google Hangouts, Facetime, Skype, Oovoo... these free options offer you a way to see and hear the person you need to communicate with.

So much gets lost in translation on the web or via text. You can make or break any relationship by not communicating properly, by typing when you should be taking the time to talk.

This is true in social networks too. You can make or break someone's day in a forum or on Facebook, all with the power of your fingers. So use your powers wisely.

And for god's sake, don't break up with someone or give them bad news via words that you type. At least give them your face and your voice.

On being to close to a project...

So tonight, a business associate who wants to work with my on freelance graphic design projects (hire me!) visited my blog to check it out. Then he advised me that in my header, where it says "Photoshop expert," it actually stated that I am a "Photshop expert."

I suspect (know from my stats) that hundreds of people have visited my blog since I changed to that header, and no one said a thing. Hell, I designed it and thought it looked AWESOME and so did my two business partners, one of whom is ALSO a graphic designer.

Can I just say two things? Deep regret... and roflmao.

I quickly thanked my associate who pointed it out, and immediately opened Photoshop and fixed the banner image and uploaded the new one.

Believe me when I say this right now- You can be too close to your project. It can look incredible, be totally awesome, EPIC even, and have a glaring typo you just don't see. Maybe because Photoshop is a word I see all the time, all day, all night, and my mind just put in the missing O.

Let other people see your work. Ask them for advice, get a trusted friend you can bribe with food to be your "editor." Don't go it alone, especially when it has to do with YOUR web presence!

Lesson Learned, Mischief Managed. Goodnight.

So, Who are you?

YOU are not your blog, facebook wall, your pinterest page, or your instagram.

These are just some of the silly ways we have become total narcissists due to the fact that we have all this technology at our fingertips. Everyone has a still camera and camcorder with them at all times, most people have the internet at the touch of a finger. That means we feel "connected," and sometimes we forget that no one actually cares.

Oh yes, let me remember the last time I made an awesome recipe, photographed every step, got the film developed, and sent photos of last night's dessert to 100 of my closest friends. ???

Yet we don't think twice about doing it on Facebook or Instagram. Why is that? Have you ever really thought about it?

And as someone who wants to live with integrity and perhaps make some money from your online creative pursuits, what the heck are you "supposed to" post?

I am guilty of the Instagram food fail. Although I will say I've become more discriminating and I only post food when I want to show some new healthy and good tasting thing I've discovered. That's because I'm on a mission to be a little more healthy, eat more natural food, and evangelize my friends and acquaintances if possible. So think about it that way- are you being helpful, or trying to be? Or are you being stupid, cute, or just foolish?

I want to take some of the younger set and tell them that yes, indeed, they are being extremely foolish. What they don't seem to understand is that what you digitize, you can't delete. It is on someone's feed, somewhere. That naked photo of your left nipple could come back and poke your eye out later, depending on what kind of job or life you have planned to pursue.

So as you think about who you really are, remember that everything you upload, someone else can download. Make sure you won't mind in 20 years, and make sure it's helpful so people actually want to listen to what you have to say :)

Are you a "Wantepreneur?"

That's what THIS blog is about, and why I helped to found DreamYourSuccess.

Let's revisit the concept of Rumination= the compulsively focused attention on the symptoms of one's distress, and on its possible causes and consequences, as opposed to its solutions.If you are finding yourself constantly wanting to start a creative business, wishing you were selling more product,  hoping to find the time, money, drive, determination, ideas, or anything else you "think" is standing in your way, but you are not ACTUALLY engaged in the process of starting or improving the business you always dream about, then you are a Wantepreneur. 

For some reason, people love to make excuses about why they haven’t created their dream business or even gotten started. This is the “wantrepreneur” epidemic, where people prevent themselves from ever actually doing the side-project they always talk about over beers. The truth of the matter is that you don’t have to spend a lot of time building the foundation for a successful business. In most cases, it shouldn’t take you more than a couple days.

If you don't do something soon, you will likely remain in that state for the rest of your life- working at a J-O-B that you H-A-T-E just to make ends meet. Then you will go home every night and eat, drink, or TV yourself to sleep, illness, or death. All because you WANT to do something with your talents and dreams, but instead of getting up and doing it, you continue to want...want...want...wish, hope, dream, and not DO.

I encourage you to DO! Go do it! And if you need a tribe to help you (it does take a village! Sometimes just for moral support!) or if you need knowledge, I'm talking REAL knowledge on how to do SEO, how to use blogging and graphics software, really HOW to do everything that needs doing, come on over and check out Dream Your Success. It's the only program created by 3 artist/entrepreneurs who all specialize in different aspects of what it takes to make your ideas a reality.

Uncertainty

Are you afraid of change? Do you hate uncertainty? Well let me tell you, in business, it's CERTAIN that there will be change, and that you will sometimes be UNCERTAIN of the outcome. Sometimes change is awesome, because you've planned for it carefully and you want it to happen. Sometimes, someone else influences you and there is nothing you can do about it. Sometimes, change comes like the wind... you didn't know it was coming, or from what direction. You had no plan because you didn't think in advance, or you don't know your own values in life. But walking around uncertain all the time is rather anxiety-provoking. You can get more certain by planning, by getting clear on what you want, and by getting educated. That is what Dream Your Success is all about- getting real knowledge so you will KNOW what to do and HOW to do it, and you will have a tribe of peers who can help you, cheer you on, give you advice.

Decision Making

I will refer to my post on the Dream Your Success blog from earlier this week. Read Here.

Strong Values, coupled with an understanding of how goals fit into your values, are what get you where you want to go in life- rather than waking up one day to see you've been dragged downstream.

Our blogging was all about uncertainty in life, how it can be a curse and a blessing, and how every single choice you make leads you in a direction- whether you see the direction, or not. People who get good grades in high school and then go on to excellent grades in college and then apply to med school are planning for a future in medicine, a (they hope) high-paying and stable job, and a certain kind of lifestyle. People who don't do those things are certainly not planning for that, and will not get there unless they change course. You only have yourself to look to when you glance around and see where you are in life.

I'm not saying that if you don't drive a Lexus and live in a nice suburb in a big house that you are not on the right path- that is not the path for many. In fact, I spend a lot of time in a neighborhood like that and I wonder what on earth I would do with myself if I had to maintain the car payments, mortgages, and country club dues the people living there are (in my opinion) burdened by. I prefer a different lifestyle, and my choices reflect that.

Making choices can seem difficult- but if you know where you want to go, you can be a little more confident. Do you want to be a thriving artist, or a starving one? Do you enjoy Rumination, or are you looking to be Illuminated? Do you need help with that?

That is why I'm part of the coaching and teaching team at Dream Your Success. We are offering real, true information about HOW to conduct business online. We teach valuable steps, including how to use software, how to make graphics, how to talk to people, how to relate. We are not blowing sunshine up your ass- if that's what you want, you can choose a different coaching program. Every day is filled with choices- make a positive one today!

LOL... Wordpress Ninja, why are you blogging on blogger?

So yes- I love Wordpress.org for MANY reasons, too many to list. However, I believe in the power of Google- and Blogger is a Google product. So my blogger blog is a heavy nod to the SEO powers of the internet god: Google. I blog here because it is quick and easy, and I don't require plugins or a shopping cart for my personal rants. I have other ways, such as an embedded Etsy widget, and a page of my Artfire listings...I am skilled at html, so I can add stuff to the sidebars on the fly...

When I design a professional website for a client or service, I always use Wordpress. It gives me a level of control and functionality that blogger can't match (at least, not for me, since I have invested almost 0% of my time learning the blogger ins and outs.) I'm just here to write, post photos, and have a place to put my thoughts...so blogger is enough.

But if you are looking for an awesome platform where you can control absolutely every aspect of your online presence experience, a self-hosted Wordpress website (doesn't even really have to be a blog...) is where it's at.

Some of my clients and projects, all running on self-hosted Wordpress:

www.TotesAdorbz.com (not a blog!)
www.iloveyoupink.com (a work in progress)
www.LessonPop.com

And of course, our business websites:

www.DreamYourSuccess.com
www.ThingsCrafty.com
www.PolymerClayTV.com

and, my very first blog, long since abandoned....but shhhhhhh- it was on Wordpress.com! A great place to start out, but if you begin your love affair with wordpress there, you will eventually graduate to self-hosted.

www.studiobijou.wordpress.com

I'm an Author!

When our book hit Amazon's "shelves" this week, it became official! It's so awesome to see your name in print. But what has been even more incredible is to see the comps of what the design team at F&W Media has done with our art and jewelry. The inside of this book is GORGEOUS! I'm upset I can't share it with you. You will just have to buy one for yourself and see.

Right now, it's a good time to get it- because it is on a deep discount for pre-ordering, since it won't be available until September. The list price is $24.95, but I think I saw it for $15 yesterday.

Here's a Link!

Creative Fluency

Here's a concept for you- a very important one. It's called "fluency." You might associate this with language, as in "I speak fluent French," and you would be correct. If you really think about the word, it means that you understand and speak quickly and clearly, without having to muddle through.

And how do we build fluency? By immersion, and practice.

On to the story that inspired me to write about it...

Wendigo died last Saturday. Some people would say "passed away," but the truth is, he died and I helped. I have personally put three pets to sleep now (my husband helped too) and it is terrible every time, because it really does feel like you are killing them. Even though it is the humane thing to do, the end result is- they are dead, and you pulled the "trigger." It's a horrible guilty place to be. Poor little guy had no fight left in him, the cancer had riddled his body. So we came home to a house that felt empty. The danger is- we have two other kitties, and not to ignore them because of our grief.

When our dog, Kasha, died four years ago, I gathered up some mementos with great intentions of creating a memorial piece of artwork. That sits unfinished.

When we came home from the vet on Saturday, I knew I wanted to create something for my husband, for us, to remember him. We decided yellow was a good color for Wendigo (the color of his eyes) and he is white, so I chose an assortment of yellow and white papers and a 12 inch canvas. I used lots of other stuff, but basically created a canvas collage that now hangs in our den above the 5 foot cat tower that he used to sleep on. Now our old girl, Tigerlily, has taken over the top level of the tower.

I have been in a constant state of CREATE since moving to Austin. My supplies are out in the living room, and I do a live show almost every Tuesday morning at 8 am. Plus I've been writing a book, which involves a lot more creating and photography than my usual routine.

The point is this- I had an idea and carried it through to completion within hours, not weeks, months, years...It is because I have been PRACTICING constantly and have developed the creative fluency that helped me state, inside my soul, what kind of art I wanted to make, how I wanted to execute it, and I was able to quickly and easily make what I had pictured in my mind.

This is very different than anything in my past- when I would think about it, maybe sketch it, dig around various boxes of art supplies, take things out...put them back, start, tuck a canvas half-painted back away, and not finish. Heck, I hardly got started.

PLEASE- do yourself the immense favor of doing something creative as often as you can! When you are in a state of creative flow, ideas come more quickly and their execution is easier. You become your idea, and are able to see it through. Creative Fluency is the opposite of Creative Block, and it is a skill just like any language or instrument. Practice, and it will be at your fingertips, or the tip of your tongue.

The Problem of Mattering

The one thing I had wondered, since I was very little...maybe 7 or so, is why anything matters. My religious upbringing gave me the first signs that something was amiss.

Guess what, people. The only thing that matters- is whatever you think matters. Unfortunately, the Universe, God, whatever you call the divine larger power in your life, didn't impress tattoos regarding the meaning of your life on your forehead at birth.

My (adopted) mother made me feel very bad about life from an early age. She was not there for us in any real sense of the word. She herself was very insecure, an alcoholic, and emotionally abusive. She would yell at me for sitting with the family reading a book or doing homework, and not breaking up fights between my siblings that happened in front of me- saying "The only thing that matters to you is whatever YOU are doing. Why don't you look around you and take care of something besides yourself!" This was usually followed by admonitions regarding my "laziness" or lack of effort. All this yelling at ME for not doing HER job of mothering.

So in my tiny little 8, 10, 12, 14 year old heart...I took her word for it. I withdrew into myself and became very introverted. I started thinking passively about suicide- "What if our car just goes off the road into the river? That would be convenient."And then I started thinking that nothing matters at all. If what I wanted didn't matter to my parents, how could it matter to me? As a child, I had no power to manifest what mattered, except in my daydreams.

As an adult, these thoughts continued. I felt powerless to get what I wanted in life. I started to suppress the questions about what I wanted. It became difficult to ask for things that I wanted- even if it were a simple request, such as what restaurant to go to, what to do on a Saturday afternoon. God bless my husband for putting up with me during my completely wishy-washy phase of development.

So here it is- the problem of mattering. If something matters to you, it means you want it.

If wanting things is difficult for you, because things happened in your past to create blocks against you believing in things, it can be difficult to bust through those blocks.

Here are questions I had about things that mattered to me-

What If I Care?
What if I Try?

Those what if's are all completely fear-based.

If I care about this, it will be taken away from me, die, leave, or betray me.
If I try to do this, it won't be good enough.

My fears about caring had to do with the fact that my birth-mother left me at 8 months old...my adopted mother abused me, both of them died before my 18th birthday, my father betrayed me by not protecting me. My mother would dangle things I wanted in front of me like a carrot, and snatch them away at the last moment as a form of bizarre punishment. For example, if I were invited to a birthday party, I would be dressed and ready, holding a wrapped present, and she would tell me that I didn't clean the bathroom properly the night before and therefore would not be going to the party. When I did things, she would tell me they would have been better if I had tried harder...my 2 hours of piano practice daily would become 4 the next day if I didn't practice "enough..." She told me throughout my piano career of 8 years of weekly lessons, 2 hours of practice a day- you'll never make any money as a musician. Better think of something else.

It sounds like she was "Mommy Dearest," doesn't it? But she had her own problems that made her this way. She grew up in a very abusive household. My two uncles are totally screwed up as well, and now I don't even know them anymore. I relate this to you, dear reader, so we can empathize and feel compassion for each other. I think everyone's parents mess them up, at least a little, because none of us are perfect.

So where to go from there, when your upbringing does not validate your needs and wants, the things that matter to you most? How do you go from thinking about it (rumination) to moving forward, a brightly Illuminated soul? The answer lies in a lot of forgiveness, and making new choices.

For me it was simple, it came all at once, after long hours of study and meditation that allowed me to open up and bring new beliefs into my life. It is very important if you want to change something integral to yourself that you first examine your belief system and figure out which beliefs are yours, and which were taught to you and support negativity. If a belief you hold from childhood only brings negativity into your life, you need to break it apart and rebuild it to support your positive growth as a person. But that's another post :)

Simply this: can you say this, hold it in your heart, and begin to believe it?


If nothing matters, then everything does.

Everything I do...

Everything I say...

Everything I believe...

Everything I experience.

So go forward, and BE what matters to you. Others will see you for what you really are, and you will be able to love yourself fully and share that love outward.

From Rumination to Illumination

Rumination is usually defined as repetitively focusing on the symptoms of distress, and on its possible causes and consequences. Extensive research on the effects of rumination, or the tendency to self-reflect, shows that the negative form of rumination interferes with people’s ability to focus on problem-solving and results in dwelling on negative thoughts about past failures.

I just had the best experience in a long time- I got to Skype chat with Marney Makridakis, the founder of Artellaland.com. I've been following the site for years now. Can I just say that Marney is VERY smart? And a generous soul who gave me an hour of her time, free. In that hour, I was able to realize what my heart has been telling me about my life mission, and therefore I changed the title of my blog and now will change my focus as well. It's always been there, I just haven't been able to listen to the quiet, deep part of my soul that is telling me what my REAL, true wish is as a helping professional.

I am a teacher- through and through. I've taught others my whole life, and dedicated myself to lifelong learning. 

I've read several pieces of literature which suggest that teachers are people who have not had a healthy upbringing- rather they have had struggles to deal with, in some cases, all their lives. This makes this special group of people highly empathetic. Many become psychologists, counselors, or therapists of some kind or another. Many get specialized training to do these things, and I believe that in many cases it's because they want to practice in a medical field that they are forced to get this training. But it doesn't take "letters" after your name or a Master's degree to make someone a teacher or counselor. It's a gift.

Somewhere in my early 30's, I realized that I spent a lot of time in Rumination. That is to say, that I could identify the causes and effects of the negative parts of my rearing and psyche. I could think about them to no end, pick them apart, and wallow in them (which, as the definition above suggests, is what rumination often leads to.) But I was getting no where in this endless cycle of negative thinking. I was still depressed, passively suicidal (wishing your airplane will crash when upon takeoff is a terrible thing to live through) and wondering about the meaning of life. Questions I had since age 8 or so. I realized that I had to let the light in, and let my light out. My focus then became finding the light. I did some reading, meditation, study and therapy. I still have a ways to go, and my teachers assure me that I will probably spend the rest of my life "perfecting" my own approach to happiness, fulfillment, and contentment- three states of mind that sometimes coexist, sometimes not.

My gift is this- I now understand how to shine. I know the path, and I want to share it. I believe that creativity and positive thinking can lead you there. As humans, we all share the power to create, and the power to think- to make new life, to make art and build things, to tell stories, to imagine things that weren't there before. Creativity and Positivity is our gift. I'm not just talking about art making, although that tends to be my primary expression. I do like to write as well :)

Shut Up and Put Out!

OK, that's a little strongly stated, but that's the point. Ilysa and I were talking business this morning and we decided that is going to be the theme of our new crafting community. We are both action-minded women, and Ilysa has been self employed for almost her whole adult life- and that is my goal too. In the next 2 years, I plan to leave "the Man" behind and work for The Woman- Me! But that requires SMART goals and planning. You need to do small, measurable, attainable, relevant, timely things in order to move forward in life. That's what we will be talking, writing, videoing, and blogging about in the near future over at ThingsCrafty. We've got great things in the works- and we will be explaining how sometimes you need to just Shut Up your mouth or your brain, and Put Out- that means get it done!

VistaPrint to the rescue again!

Well, I realize it's been a while since I ordered business cards. Also, I recently moved so I need to update some things. I'm out of business cards with my good phone number, and my address labels are now defunct :( So, having told a colleague that I do, in fact, have business cards, I realized I better actually get some!
VistaPrint.com has great deals. I know, as a graphic artist I could make my own cards...but while browsing their free designs I couldn't resist. They had the perfect one with nice earthy colors and a pair of scissors cutting a cool photoshop-scroll looking design. So that was the one for me, and I artfully arranged their standard form areas. They want you to put your address, number, etc. But I used all the spots available to put my name, title, three blogs I work on (this one and my two business blogs) and included the fact that I'm a photoshop expert, multi-media artist, and videographer. You never know who you are going to meet out there- so I put the things I am best and and would be talking with people about. And I made the executive decision to leave my phone number off of it this time. If I want to give out my number, I can write it on the card- but I'm assuming that my email and website address should be enough for the casual admirer or conversation. And I threw an order of return address labels on for fun, because the Holiday shopping season is upon us, Etsy orders are picking up, and I like my packages to look nice!

Starving Artist? We need to thrive instead

I love Angi, and just wanted to share what she has to say about this topic. In recent months, through therapy and reading, I've uncovered the negativity in my soul- in America, we are raised with horrible social norms including the idea that taking care of ourselves is a selfish act. That not finishing the food on our plate is somehow causing children to starve to death in China, that we must take care of others at the expense of ourselves, that sacrificing our desires is actually a desirable character trait. We then buy into the idea that to want- to really want, is to take from someone else. What a crock of .....
Anyway, enjoy.

The Mind/Body/Soul connection for artists and intellectuals, like me

I had an interesting breakthrough this week. I realized that for most of my life, I have been told by my guides (parents, teachers, other important adults, and popular media) that I had the mental and artistic gifts of artist, musician, and intellectual and therefore, it was unimportant and unexpected for me to develop my physical body. I bought it- hook, line and sinker. And so I find myself, at 37, unhappy with my health, overweight. I never question why- I know it's because I'm a thinker, not an athlete. But my body is weak, my spirit is sick, and yup, I'm very very smart. I can't create- because I'm so stuck in my mind with my unhappiness.
So here's the breakthrough- I realize that during my time here on earth, I am made of three parts- physical body, intellectual mind, and creative soul. I need to develop balance so all three can be united equally, and produce equally, without one detracting from another. I hurt my back earlier this week, causing me to have to lay down for most of it. That made me angry, because I couldn't teach, study, or create. Going to workout makes me angry most days- why should I waste time in the gym, when I could be absorbing information? (I have learned most of what I know from reading, studying, and practicing.) I always feel like time spent moving is time spent wasted- because I would rather be learning. This is a fatal flaw- and must be corrected. I have decided that I need to encourage myself to spend equal time learning, creating, and moving. Only that way will my inbalance and unhappiness be cured. I spend so much time learning- which basically means sitting-still; reading, watching videos, or practicing my skills on the computer- that I have made my body sick and with it, my soul. My soul can't reconcile the fact that my body doesn't match my mind- and so it worries, constantly- and can't embrace the creation process fully. I'll let you know how it goes.